A letter to Finn

Dear Finnegan-

And now I know what you look like.  You are a beautiful, dark-haired bundle of boy who likes to suck his thumb and hates getting dressed.  For two years, I thought of you.  I'd see other babies and feel that our family was not yet complete.  I told your dad about my dream of you and because he is who he is, he said he would dream of you too.  And so we started our journey to find you.  We viewed many, many birth mom profiles and many times I wondered if we would ever find you.  And then after a fiery winter night, I knew why you hadn't come yet.  Because that night I knew you were still safe - in my dreams.  You were to be the prize at the end of a long process to rebuild.

During a week of frustration, I asked God to let my heart know when I was presented with your birth mom.  Two days later, when Dad and I were in Chicago, I received a phone call about your birth mom.  When I heard her name, I just knew it was you.  I sent a text to Dad, who was at a meeting in the hotel, that said "I found Finnegan."  Your birth mom knew nothing about us yet, but I knew it was you.  A phone call the next day confirmed it.  I wish you could have seen the reaction from your siblings when we told them that the wait was over - that you were on your way.  You were instantly a part of us.

So we prepared your room, we were showered by neighbors and everyone anticipated your arrival.   I spoke with your birth mom a few times a week.  Let me tell you - she is lovely.  So sweet, so welcoming, so strong in her decision to give you a better life.  It was my privilege to get to know her and I will tell you all about her someday.

Dad and I drove through corn fields and cities, forests and swamps and on the morning of June 27th we met your birth mom and we told her the name we had picked for you.  She went to the OR and in just a few minutes, you and I met for the first time and I cried when I finally, finally saw your sweet face.  I could not believe that I had been blessed again.  I stared at you all night - alone in our hospital room.

So here are some things that I would like you to know.  First, we were meant to be together.  Many times I was quiet and listened to God's voice and that is how we found you.  Just like your sister and brothers, we were meant to be.  Never doubt that your faith can move mountains.  Your life will be bigger and fuller if you are quiet enough to hear and follow His voice.  Second, adoption doesn't make you different, it makes you chosen.  Your birth mom chose us for you and God chose you for us.  Never doubt that you were born surrounded by love.  Third, always be kind and serve others.  So many people prayed for you and our family and helped us welcome you.  Be that person to others.

You are a sweet baby Finn and I am proud to be yours forever-

Mommy