Goodbye Elf on the Shelf

Ernie, our Elf on the Shelf, has been MIA.  He has not shown up.  Truth be told, I am over it.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a Mom who tries to make Christmas magical.  We love our Advent calendar activities.   I love sitting under the tree each night to read a Christmas book with my children.   But the elf - I just can't do it anymore.  I see online the efforts that parents take to place their elf in some kind of stage set every night - that's 24 different scenarios to plan.  They all seem to involve either the toilet, marshmallows, powdered sugar or straws.   It seems that the elves are always misbehaving, while trying to encourage the children of the house to behave.  It just feels like a lot of work with a little bit of a "big brother is watching" creepiness.

So here we are, December 4th, and no Ernie in sight.   While my children have not asked about Ernie, William has told me about his friends' elves.  I can feel the question mark just hovering in the air.  The elves themselves are cute but I wondered how I could transition Ernie to just be a part of our holiday decorations.    Today, it hit me - I will elevate my children's status at the North Pole and Ernie will retire to live with us.

So this is what my children will see tonight:

What a huge burden lifted!   I will no longer have to wake up in the middle of the night, remembering that I forgot to move Ernie or have to make up an excuse why Ernie hasn't moved (he's sick, its his day off, that's his favorite spot to sit, etc.)  I am a free woman!    Actually, for today, I am:

Yours very sincerely,

Cornelius Glisten

Director, Elf Dispatch

P.S.   Interested in retiring your elf?   Copy and paste this:

   Dear          -

Congratulations!!!!   On behalf of the Department of Naughty and Nice, the Elf Dispatch Division, we are pleased as peppermint to formally announce that you have been placed on our MANGER list (Mostly Always Nice, Giving Everyone     Respect).    This is a huge accomplishment, something that you and your parents should be extremely proud of!

Your award for being on the MANGER list is that Ernie your elf will now live with you permanently and no longer has to report back to Santa each night.  Ernie has been waiting a long time for this – to be formally adopted into your family!!!

Tonight, Ernie is hidden for you to find (he likes to make a grand entrance).  After that, you may play with him whenever you like and treat him as member of your family. 

Being on the MANGER list comes with responsibilities too.  It means that Santa has confidence that you will continue to make good choices – in fulfilling your responsibilities to your family and at school and most important – in how you treat other people.  Treat them with gentle kindness, seeing each person as God created them.  Everyone makes mistakes and you will too.  Learn from your mistakes and seek forgiveness and you will remain on the MANGER list forever.

Not everyone knows about the MANGER list, so keep it top secret!  Elves at your friends’ houses may still be traveling back to the North Pole and that is fine.  There’s room for everyone on the nice list.

Yours very sincerely,

Cornelius Glisten

Director, Elf Dispatch